Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
