Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
