dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
