If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
