Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
