so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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