the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
