There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
