So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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