i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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