dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Randomize
