So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
