I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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