You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
