Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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