Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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