Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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