She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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