smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
