ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I won't apologize to a one balled man
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
