Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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