My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
