Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
