Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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