they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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