i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
