I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
