hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
