i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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