Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
