and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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