I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
