So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
