kristin has been a bad kristin
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
