I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
50% drunk capacity currently
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
