I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
