you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
