he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Semen is not good for contacts.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
MIDGETS
????
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
