so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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