dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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