Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Hippo gnu deer
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
