No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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