Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
