just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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