I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
