Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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