Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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