at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
