Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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