Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
