Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
