He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
