I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
