You really coming over, don't trick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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