i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
