We need to rekindle our bromance
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
