And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
