dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
